chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
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