Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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