the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
i came on her dog
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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