I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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