HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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