I'm really into asian looking animals
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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