He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
