we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
His nipple licking is glorious
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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