I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
