I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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