somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize