He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize