As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
jump out the window naked night went bad
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
