She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
