This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Of course I have a pirate flag
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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