have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
50% drunk capacity currently
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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