At least make sure they are 18
Why
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
