There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Randomize
