You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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