your room smells of hookers.
And success
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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