I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
