Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I FOUND THE LEGS
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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