Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
