So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize