Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
