i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
