You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
