Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize