its not stalking. its research.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
