i was born a porn star she said
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
