I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize