just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
