So drunk, too bad you don't want this
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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