eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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