also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
