They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Randomize
