what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
