P.S. I can't hear my feet
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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