We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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