party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
