Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
