I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
It's like God shit irony all over that family
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Still dying that you shit outside
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Congratulations! We have a period
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