So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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