all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
