I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
