I heard we made out
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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