Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
