Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
