JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
