We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
"it" just moved
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Randomize
