He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
