Duck Duck Cougar?
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
