if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
