who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
