: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
