Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
if only i could text you this smell
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
How does one acquire holy water?
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
