I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Randomize
