We need to rekindle our bromance
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
