Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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