just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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