Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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