I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
