she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
