i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
