So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
And then he peed in my hair
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