"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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