omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
