no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
