yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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