We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
